It all started with a story
by SomethingAmazing95
Summary: What happens when Emmett gets bored? Will the house burn down? Will someone lose their right eye ball? All Emmett has to do to cause trouble is tell a story! R&R, cannon pairs, RANDOM STORY. You've been warned.


**Wow. Well, this fanfic started because me and TeddyBear 8P are random and awesome and I thought that this was a really funny conversation that reminded me of Emmett. Lol. **

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**EmPOV**

This Spring Break is officially boring. There is nothing to do! I looked around the room for the millionth time in the last five minutes trying to find something to do. My eyes fell on the window with a fat purple frog staring at me. WHAT THE HELL?! It must have had rabies or something… I looked at it and it wasn't blinking. I was starting to get creeped out when my pixie of a sister broke me from my daze.

"Emmett! That's such a good idea! Do it!" she squealed in my ear. You don't know pain till you're a vampire with Alice screaming in your ear. I looked at her all confused when something clicked.

"Oh!" I exclaimed. This would be fun…

"Alice what are you blocking from me?" Edward asked. He walked in with Bella in tow.

"Emmett should tell us," she smiled at me with a glint in her eyes.

"Yes! I just found a funny story in the news."

"Oh really?" Bella asked me. I smiled at her and she shrank away. "Wh-what happened?"

"Well, in a little town called Portland down in Oregon, there was this one chick, and man I never heard of anything like it!"

"What the hell?" Jasper walked in and looked at me like _I _was the one that was crazy, and I felt a wave of calm fly over me. It didn't work though. I was having too much fun with this.

"Man! Don't do that to me! I'm not insane… I think. Anyway people can't keep interrupting me!" They were really going to ruin my creative flow! "Gosh! Where was I?"

"What kind of a question is that? You're a vampire! You don't forget things!" Edward was getting a little pissed that Alice and I weren't letting him in our heads. Lame.

"Fine! God. So, like I was saying, there was this chick in Oregon swears it's true!"

"Swears what's true?" Esme asked walking in the door with groceries that she had gotten for Bella.

My jaw dropped. It was amazing how _every_ time I try and tell the story _some_one ends up interrupting me!

"Okay, where's Rose and Carlisle? I'm not going to have them walk in half way through the story and have to restart."

"I'm right here and Rose is in the garage working on Edward's Volvo," Carlisle hung up his hospital coat and sat on the couch.

"Don't worry Emmett, she's on her way in," our little mind reader told me. I think he might have been trying to calm me down, cause I was starting to get excited.

"Whatever Eddie. Everyone get comfortable! I'm not stopping for anything!"

Everyone took seats after Bella used the bathroom and Rose came into the room. I waited longer then I probably needed to just to make my point.

"Okay Emmett, now tell us the story," Alice asked starting to get annoyed by my silence.

"Okay, so I was watching the news one day and they started talking about some girl in Oregon and frogs. I was thinking what the he-"

"Why were you watching the news?" Carlisle asked.

"Because the Tellatubbys weren't on! Now, can I continue?" What was with people stopping me today?

"Yes Emmett, we won't interrupt you again," Esme assured me glancing at Jasper.

"God. So I was thinking 'What the hell? Why would _frogs_ make the news?' so I had to watch it. So I was listening and the guy said that this chick, I think her name was Stephanie or something, she save her family from these freaking crazy ass frogs!" I threw my arms up in the air in a 'how could that happen' kind of thing.

"Emmett! Watch your mouth!" Esme reprimanded me, but she had a smile on her face the whole time.

"Sorry mom. So Stephanie was on the TV and she was saying that her and her friend in freaking Florida were texting back and forth because there were these huge purple frogs that didn't blink! They were just attacking them! I was like 'DUDE!'" I jumped up off the couch and looked around with wide eyes. This was such a fun way to spend my Spring Break.

"Why were they purple?" Bella asked looking confused.

"Um, well, uh, they had rabies or something. I don't know! Some frog disease. But the Florida chick, um, Stevie I think her name was, she was like 'My toe! It burns!' and Steff was like 'Wtf? Why?' and Stevie was like 'The freaking frogs! One bit me! IT HAS RABIES!'" I sat back down as everyone started laughing at me. I really did like all this attention.

"I thought you didn't know what the frogs had?" Edward challenged me. Oh hecks no.

"How can I be sure if some teenagers got the mysterious frog disease right? I'm no frog expert!" Bella giggled but tried to cover it up with a cough. I smiled at her and she smiled back this time. What a dorky human.

"So they were freaking out because the sick frogs were biting them and trying to eat the muffins so they tried to get them to leave by stabbing them with plastic spoons, but they weren't fazed at all! So then they ran to their neighbors and got bunnies and kitties to attack the frogs with!"

"Um, why did they use rabbits and cats Emmett?" Jasper asked. He looked scared for my sanity.

"They didn't," I told him. The scared look got worse.

"You just said that they did."

"No, I said that they got bunnies and kitties. There's a difference," I looked at him like he was a stupid slow computer.

"Wow. So are you done with this, uh, fascinating story Emmett?" Carlisle asked me. I thought I saw his hand flinch toward his medical stuff.

"Nope," I said popping the 'p'. "I still have more to tell you guys! So while the bunnies and kitties were eating the frogs toe by toe the girls grabbed the muffins and ran from their houses. They were lucky they got the muffins out in time! It was almost too late! The bunnies and kitties ate all the frogs, but they got sick and died so the two girls flew to Nebraska to bury them all for their heroic efforts. It was a very sad day. They both got rabies also. Stephanie got bit on her hand and had to get her left ear amputated because of it, while Stevie had to get part of her tongue amputated after a nasty bite to her big toe. It was horrible, the pictures they showed." I cringed as if I was remembering something bad. Everyone was just looking at me like I belonged in an asylum, and no one ever thought that about anyone in this family after we found out what happened to Alice while she was human.

Bella started cracking up and even Edward started moving away from her. Rose started talking to me in a soothing voice and I started listening to my angel. Why wouldn't I? She had my complete attention so I didn't notice Jasper sending waves of calm to me till I felt what I had to assume was his hands around my neck. He twisted and the last think I remember was me yelling "THE DOGS DON'T EAT CHICKEN!" before I passed out cold.

**BPOV**

Emmett was hilarious! I loved his story, but I could tell that the others didn't share my enthusiasm. I tried my best to keep my laughter on the inside, but it was just too funny. I had to let it out. **(No Stevie, I did not mean that in a perverted way)**

It started out a giggle, but soon I was rolling on the floor holding my sides. I saw Emmett slump down to the ground and got a little worried, but in my state it just made me crack up even more. I was in hysterics.

"Bella, love, you're so cute when you laugh," I heard Edward coo in my ear. I felt his arms wind around my waist and my heart rate instantly got faster. That didn't help my laughing fit much. His hands locked on my forearms and I felt pressure on my upper arm before I started feeling a little groggy. I turned to Edward, the laughing gone but I still had a stupid grin on my face. He smiled at me reassuringly and kissed my forehead before I fell into a comfortable blanket of darkness.

**CarlislePOV**

I had to do something. Emmett looked like he had gone crazy and I was scared for him and everyone around him. I glanced over at Rosalie and saw her looking at me with concern and a glint of determination. I understood what that meant. She was going to make him better if it killed her. I looked over to Jasper and gave a small nod before I heard a cackling. I turned and saw it was Bella laughing with Emmett. Edward looked scared for his life that something was wrong with her. I could see the desperation in his eyes.

Rose started to talk to Emmett, and being the man he is, she had his full attention. That made things a lot easier. Jasper moved behind him sending wave after wave of calm to him while he placed his hands at Emmett's neck. Jasper was the one that would know best how to subdue Emmett out of all of us, having had to control newborns. He calmly twisted his hands and Emmett slid to the floor. Now all that was left was Bella.

_Edward, you need to distract her_ I thought to him. He nodded and moved to put his arms around her. He murmured something in her ear so that only she could hear and her heart started to race. That got her distracted, but didn't help her laughter. It caused another uproar.

Edward held onto her arms as I readied the needle. I stuck her arm and her eyes started to get droopy and close. She turned to Edward and after a smile and kiss from him she fell asleep.

"What are we going to do with them now?" my lovely wife asked me. I looked at the two unconscious people in our living room then turned to Alice. Her eyes went blank for a moment before she told us what to do.

**EmPOV**

I woke up in a padded room with Bella. _What the hell?_ I thought as I tried to get up, but instead found my self trapped in a strait jacket. Okay, so I wasn't exactly trapped considering I could have torn the thing to shreds, but I thought I might as well humor who ever did this. I looked around the room and saw that it was boring. Just yellow padding over the walls, floor, and ceiling, and a door with bars in a window.

Edward came to the door and entered our little cell. "Eddie, what the hell is going on?" I asked him.

"Emmett, don't call me Eddie. Carlisle checked you and Bella into the local asylum until Spring Break is over. He thinks you got a little too bored, and that you a Bella went a little crazy." He looked over to Bella lovingly and I sighed.

He left after a nurse came in and said that visiting hours were over, and soon after Bella woke up. "What the-? Emmett, how did we end up in here?" she asked. I explained everything to her and she looked pissed but smiled.

"Well, I guess we'll just have to make due…" she looked down for a minute before looking up with what I could have sworn was a crazy glint in her eyes. "Hey, do you have any more stories?"

I smiled at her and started a new story. I left out any frogs. I should have never trusted that stupid, purple, non-blinking frog in our window…

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**AN: Okay this is TeddyBear 8P. Guess what. This is a very true and dramatic story. If you can't take the tragedies, well you already read it, so get over it. Its 100 percent real life! Yes, this did NOT come from Steff's imagination. COUGHItCameFromMineTooCOUGH Oh, and one more thing. I just realized the word circumference has the word CUM in it. Lmfao.**

**Lol. Wow. This is DimitriLoverForLife again. Lol. I loved that AN from TeddyBear 8P. Lol. I never realized that circumference has the word cum in it before…. Lol. Um, yeah, we can be a little perverted. Haha. But in an awesome way! So yeah…. You should review and tell us (I'm going to make sure TeddyBear 8P reads them too, after all, it was both of us that came up with the plot I just wrote it down) what you think of it. I think I'm going to leave it a one-shot, but I might put more stories for Emmett to tell. It depends on how funny my conversations are with TeddyBear 8P and how crazy we are. And if we get a good review response. :) **


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